I started it. Now help me end it. - Jeanne's Story
I recently had the pleasure of meeting Rev. John Ensor, when he visited my church, Palm Vista Community in Miami Lakes. He shared with us the vision of "Heartbeat of Miami" and the urgent need to establish pregnancy help clinics in our city.
Before he spoke, a sister in the Lord, stood up first and shared her testimony about her own painful experience with abortion. I sat listening with a million different feelings; my emotions swirling, and my heart deeply stirred.
Then Pastor Ensor spoke about the biblical call to help the weak and defend the innocent. He relayed the startling news that Miami has nearly forty abortion facilities and that our nearby neighborhood of Hialeah alone had seven such places. It triggered many memories I had long pushed aside. I was transported back to 1979, a time when my mother and I launched, perhaps, the first abortion clinic in Hialeah.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy!
-Psalm 103:2-4
At the time my lifestyle did not honor God. The decisions I made brought me a lot of pain. Now, years later, sitting in that service that day and listening to the testimony and hearing about the Heartbeat of Miami project, I sensed God's wonderful providence at work. I too had a story to tell. I wondered, "God, are you calling me now to undo what I did so many years ago? Do you want to use me now, in 2006, to help start the first pregnancy help clinic in Hialeah?"
My story begins when I was in my late teens and in my final years of high school. Due to my mother's divorce, we re-located a couple of times from Miami to New York and back to Miami again. When I came back to Miami, I returned without my mother, promising her that I would finish up high school and find a job.
Keeping my promise to my mom, I answered an ad to be a receptionist in a Women's Clinic that helped young women with "birth control" issues. My job was to answer the phones and make appointments. After working there for some time I figured out that they did more than just hand out pills. But I was ignorant about what abortion was, and never gave it much thought. To me, it was simply a job. But God was secretly at work.
A few months later, I was in a terrible car accident. I was dismissed from my job while recovering. My mother moved back to Miami. Since she had experience working in medical clinics, I suggested she apply for the job I had lost. Sure enough, she was hired.
After four months of hands-on experience, and seeing the profits to be made, my mom decided she could open her own "women's clinic" and "help women terminate an unexpected pregnancy."
During this time, I started dating an older man who was looking for a business opportunity. I introduced him to my mother. My boyfriend became my mother's business partner. I thought everything was falling into place. I was thrilled about this relationship and our business was growing; we were doing five to six abortions daily.
As my relationship intensified, I soon found myself in an unexpected situation, one I thought would never happen to me. I was pregnant! Filled with joy, I told my boyfriend. I was shocked when he told me that this was not what he wanted for us and it would be better if we "terminated the pregnancy." He assured me it was very early in the pregnancy and "it" (meaning, the baby) would not be anything yet. My heart dropped to my feet. I could not believe what I was hearing. I cried many nights and was terribly confused, as all women are in such situations.
I was strongly against aborting my baby, but I was afraid of what would happen between him and me if I stood my ground. Strange as it sounds, my mother also understood what my pregnancy was really about. She would not approve of me aborting her first grandchild and she was totally against me using her abortion clinic. But my boyfriend was also her business partner and so it was a messy situation. He continued to press me to abort, reminding me that I was in college and this was not the right time. Devastated at his lack of support and with my emotions all rung out, I told myself that the baby was probably harmed by it all.
Against my mother's wishes and without her knowledge, I had the abortion at my 
mother's own "women's clinic." After waking up, I thought of the many other women who had woken up in this same room, feeling as I did; empty. To my surprise, the doctor entered and sternly told me I had been his worst patient. Evidently my body reacted to the abortion even though I was heavily sedated. I wept bitterly. I hurt physically. I was torn up emotionally. The lie that abortion was "helping women" was shattered. My boyfriend promised me that everything would be fine. He assured me we made the right decision. My guilt and the feelings of despair within me said otherwise. But God was quietly at work.
Soon after, I befriended a young lady who was a Christian. She sensed my burden and invited me to visit her church. I was not ready, not yet. But I was drawn to her Spirit. Soon after meeting her, I found myself pregnant again. Another abortion lie was now revealed; it never really solves anything. It only sets us up for another.
But I knew this time it would be different. This decision did cost me my relationship. It also tore apart my mom's business partnership. But soon we bought into another start-up abortion clinic at a different location in Hialeah. Because abortion really is about money, she used unlicensed medical doctors and eventually spent one-year in jail. We were both so lost.
But thanks be to God who redeems our life "from the pit" (Psalm 103:4). Looking back now over the last 27 years, I can see how God was working through all that occurred. What was intended to harm me, God turned around for my good; to accomplish what he purposed for my life and my mother's life. And now I believe he desires to use it all for "the saving of many lives" (Gen. 50:20).
Pastor Ensor calls this, "The Great Work of the Gospel." God can turn around an evil outcome of destruction for His purpose of good. By acknowledging my sins and repenting of them, and by trusting in Christ and his cross, God has forgiven me and has restored and changed my life. But He is not done working! When Pastor Ensor showed up and talked about God's call to "rescue the innocent" (Proverbs 24:11), I knew it was important for me especially to help. We need to open a real "women's clinic," one that offers genuine care and support for women being pressured into abortion. Rev. Ensor has allowed me to be #1 of the 300 monthly partners we need to establish our first "Heartbeat of Miami" pregnancy help clinic right in Hialeah. He is #2. Each of the 300 will pledge at least a $1 a day ($30/month). I am asking you to join us in this effort. I know God will rescue many confused young women being pressured into abortion and many innocent babies will be saved by it.
And as for God's work of grace, let me tell you, I did not abort that second pregnancy but gave birth to a beautiful girl, now in her mid-20's, who has become a beautiful woman. I later married and we are blessed with two more children. I finished college and even earned a master's degree. And I found Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. As for my mother, she too gave her life to Christ and has since earned a Doctor of Ministry from Oral Roberts University. She is currently involved in Hospice care.
When I shared this story with my eldest daughter, she wrote back: "Thanks for keeping me; I know I've made plenty of mistakes but I hope I've made you proud." Little does she know how much, from the first day of her conception, she has proved to be the very grace and power of God in my life.
Would you like to have Jeanne come and share her amazing story in your church or small group? Contact the Heartbeat of Miami office to schedule her visit.
Posted by kjohnson at November 4, 2006 2:52 AM
Send to a friend!
